Can I go to my husband’s janāzah, or visit his grave, while I am in iddah?
The schools differ, and their texts speak about women at funerals and graves in general, not about the widow in iddah, except the Mālikī text, which names a husband’s funeral as one a woman may attend.1 The Ḥanafī and Ḥanbalī texts dislike women following the funeral procession, and the schools differ on women visiting graves.23
What the four schools say
The schools differ on women following a funeral procession and on women visiting graves. The texts we opened do not address the widow in iddah directly, except the Mālikī one.
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Ḥanafī الحنفية
Women going out to follow the funeral procession is prohibitively disliked.2 On visiting graves, the soundest view (al-Baḥr) is that it is allowed for women; others call it disliked or forbidden; al-Ramlī says it is not allowed if it renews wailing and weeping, and is fine without that for older women, disliked for young ones.7
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Mālikī المالكية
An older woman may go out for any funeral; a younger woman may, if no temptation is feared, for the funeral of someone whose loss is great for her, such as a father, mother, husband, son, daughter, brother or sister.1
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Shāfiʿī الشافعية
Visiting graves is disliked for women, because it tends to bring weeping and raised voices, but not forbidden; some in the school said forbidden, some said permitted.8
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Ḥanbalī الحنابلة
It is disliked for women to follow funeral processions, citing Umm ʿAṭiyyah’s report.3 The reports from Aḥmad on women visiting graves differ: one says disliked, the other says not disliked.910
What can change this
- The ḥadīth the books cite: Umm ʿAṭiyyah said, "We were forbidden to accompany funeral processions but not strictly."4
- During the iddah, any going out is by day and for a need, and she sleeps at home.5 Whether attending counts as a need is a question to ask.
- A contemporary fatwā says women were forbidden to visit graves.6
Sources
- 1
al-Dasūqī, Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr of al-Dardīr (Mālikī), 1:421
- 2
Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 2:232
- 3
Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 2:356
- 4
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1278 · None shown on sunnah.com (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī)
- 5
Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 8:163
5 more sources, 6 to 10
- 6
IslamQA 108229, "Can Women in `Iiddah Go Out to Pray Tarawih and Go to Work?" (contemporary fatwā; source given on the page: Islam Q&A)
- 7
Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 2:242
- 8
al-Khaṭīb al-Shirbīnī, Mughnī al-Muḥtāj (Shāfiʿī), 2:57
- 9
Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 2:424
- 10
Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 2:425